Written by: Sam Orlando
Fashion Over Function: Spirit Airlines’ Surprising New Focus
STAUNTON, VIRGINIA - In a bold move that has left passengers equal parts confused and amused, Spirit Airlines has announced a new dress code, proving that even the most no-frills airline can have standards—when it suits them.
Midriffs and Mayhem: The Dress Code That No One Asked For
The budget carrier, long known for its “you get what you pay for” approach to air travel, has decided that passengers’ attire should now meet a higher standard than, say, the legroom or customer service. Under the updated policy, travelers will no longer be allowed to wear “revealing” clothing, display “offensive” tattoos, or otherwise express themselves in a manner that might cause a fellow passenger to clutch their pearls—assuming, of course, that Spirit’s baggage fees allow for pearl-clutching accessories.
Flying the Friendly (and Fully Clothed) Skies
The move follows an October incident in which two women were removed from a Spirit flight for the crime of wearing crop tops, an act that apparently required immediate intervention. The airline insists the new policy is not a direct response to that event, which went viral after the passengers accused Spirit of sexism, but the timing suggests otherwise.
“We just want to make sure all our customers have a comfortable experience,” said a spokesperson who somehow delivered the statement with a straight face, despite Spirit’s notorious reputation for cramped seating and unpredictable fees.
Spirit Airlines: Now Serving Dress Codes Alongside Hidden Fees
Passengers booking a flight on the airline will now tacitly agree to these new fashion guidelines, much like they already agree to pay extra for things like seat selection, carry-on bags, and basic human dignity.
Legroom Might Be Tight, but Your Outfit Better Be Right
While Spirit has been historically lenient about, say, whether the seats actually recline, it is apparently drawing the line at midriff exposure. Whether the airline will actually enforce this policy across the board or simply use it as another reason to remove unlucky passengers remains to be seen.
New Rules, Same Spirit: Policing Fashion Instead of Fixing Flights
So for those planning to fly Spirit, be warned: your personal space might be negligible, your flight might be delayed, and your baggage might mysteriously cost more than your ticket, but at least your outfit will meet their newly elevated standards. Now, if only they could apply that same energy to customer service.
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